Standard Comments you can use to copy/paste:
1. Make sure you start each note with your tongue.
2. Check your key signature!
3. Keep working to tap your foot to the steady beat. Right now your foot is tapping the RHYTHM not the BEAT
4. You have several pauses that caused your beat to be unsteady. More practice will help get rid of the pauses.
5. Eighth note need to go faster than the quarter notes.
6. Use LOTS of warm air for a good clear sound.
7. Try to breathe through your mouth instead of your nose.
8. Separate your teeth for a better sound.
9. Keep your corner muscles firm and faster air to help those high notes pop out.
10. Watch your 3rd and 4th positions: 3rd - fingers at the bell, 4th - slide at the bell